Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
