My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
