i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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