It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
