WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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