She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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