Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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