Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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