what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
