I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
