When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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