I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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