I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
