In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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