it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
