We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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