Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
