I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
