theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
