Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
