I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
