Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
