he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
