all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
