Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
