the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
