you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
