My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
