I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
