So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
