my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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