I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize