She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
