I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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