It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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