Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
