His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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