Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Pooping to opera.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
