I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
