Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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