I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
