To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
