The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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