so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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