i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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