Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Someone signed my nipple.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
