If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
