I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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