Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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