omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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