school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
