I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
