We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
