So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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