i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
