Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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