I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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