i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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