I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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