It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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