I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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