Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
